Being On My Own Pt. I

    Living on my own for the last few months hasn't been all fun and games, but more of a huge learning experience from living in a large major city of the world. It's given me a lot of questions and a little bit of common sense of my area.  Hopefully some people reading this have more wisdom than I do about living as such and those who do not can be prepared for when it does happen because it will happen.

    I immediately learned first that the world doesn't really give a crap about you.  This seems kind of obvious but it's very much in your face when you move away from a population of 14,000 to 773,000 people.  My whole life I've been used to being with people that know and being near home where there's someone there that likes me and knows that I exist (thanks Mom for still liking me even after being a stupid teenager in school and being dumb because I wasn't allowed to do this or that, I should've been more patient).  People will literally bump into me and stand an inch away from me on the BART and not even know I'm there, super rude, and then when I build up the nerve to tell them that they've not only invaded my personal space, but have also entered my sexy space, I'm the rude one.  When you're on your own in a big city with a thousand people passing by every hour, you're invisible and nothing.  But it's easy to find comfort in the fact that I do have friends and family that know that I'm alive, so I appreciate that more now.

     I've also realized that there's a lot of crazy people in the world.  I'm not just talking about homeless people that call you "Mike" and threaten to kill you while they're pulling recyclables out of the trash.  I'm talking about fully functional individuals in society that look completely normal and have bank accounts and everything.  One lady came into the restaurant that I work in and smiled and said, "Hi" and was pleasant.  She ordered some food that we can all agree could be healthier and out of no where she puts her chin to her left clavicle and said, "NO! You are not getting the dark meat, get the white!"  Apparently this lady has two personalities and one of them is obviously more persuasive than the other so one of them bought a healthy meal and I sold the other one a cookie.  It all worked out.  But for someone like me who grew up in a small town, crazy people that seem normal is not normal and it was shocking and scary to say the least.  My question is, how are these people getting around like this alone?  At least one of my personalities would want some help or something, I could get into some trouble.

    Also I've seen people with tattoos all over their face and neck and arms and stuff and I think to myself, where are you getting a job?  How the hell do you even have a stable life if you're 35 and have tattoo eye brows and a tattoo goatee?  What the shit is going on in your head when you decide, "Hey, I want tattoos on my face and get paid an hourly wage instead of a presentable face and earn a yearly salary."

    Top Ramen sucks now.  I remember sitting at my table with my mom and saying, "Left-overs again?"  And now everyday I think, "Fuck!  Top Ramen again."  Or even, "Rice and rotisserie chicken again!  Damn!"  It seemed pretty simple before that I could eat out since no one is here to tell me what to do.  But if I do that, I go broke and if I eat the same cheap stuff everyday, I go crazy.  So now I hear voices in my head.

     

Song of the Day

"School Uniforms"

by

The Wombats

Thanks for reading,

Fernando