The Answers To The Few Questions I Got

   I got a few questions and I think they're entertaining enough and that makes for a pretty good blog.  Thanks for everyone that participated.  Even you Comment at 12:46, you dead baby sex loving bitch.

Q:

"How many times have you cheated on Stacey?
And how many times have you had sex with Nalani, since you've been with Stacey?"

   A:  For the first question: 0 times.  And I think all 0 times was worth it and it was awesome beyond your wildest dreams where you think of this shit that I do, get a life.  For the second question: 0 times.  Judging by how specific you are, I don't think that the issue you have is with me because I don't mind anyone bashing just me, but bringing in someone else is pretty shitty of you.  You should be a coward and post an anonymous opinions that you're too afraid to say with your own name on Nalani's Facebook because you're probably her friend on Facebook, you hypocritical goat fucker.

Q:

"What is your favorite color? Please only choose one.
What does your future include?"

  

   A: My favorite color changes by my mood everyday so if I chose one, today it is brown.  My future includes for sure a lot of fun and a lot of struggle.  I think I'm probably going to buy a wicked cool guitar in the future.  And get a nice apartment.

Q:

"What is one of your biggest regrets and/or accomplishments in your life so far?"

   A:  One of my biggest regrets so far is not doing everything I could have.  Like those opportunities that for some reason I chose not to make happen but I could've easily done it.  These things include getting good grades, participating in school functions more, and just plain going for wild things that I was too shy to do.  One of the biggest accomplishments I've had so far is moving out and going somewhere I want to be and trying to make things happen for myself and failing and succeeding and failing and succeeding as time goes on.

Q:

"who will win the superb owl this year?"

   A:  The Vikings.  But by accepting my answer as truth, I am not to be held liable for any money, or pride, lost in the events of the Vikings not winning the superbowl.

Q:

"what the fuck is an Aposiopesis?what about Fuliginous?And what in the hell is an Incunabulum?or a Zymurgy? Can you tell me what a Xenoglossy is? And in what way can a bonobo use generative language to communicate? What about Rocco the Collie? If a girl has two dildos (one named toby the other herbert)will she be completely dissapionted when she sees the real thing? Ohhh and in what does a girl have to do to be considered a hoodrat?"

   A:  The first, a rhetorical term for an unfinished thought or broken---.  The second, sooty or smokey.  The third, an artifact of an early period.  The fourth, the branch of chemistry that deals with fermentation like in brewing beer.  The fifth, the paranormal phenomenon in which a person is able to speak a language they have never been taught or known of.  The sixth, I don't know.  The seventh, I also don't know.  The eighth, I don't think she will because the real thing is always better.  The ninth, she would have to type lIkE DiZz and wear hella make up and have her hair teased all the time.

Q:

"What is the biggest mistake you've ever made?"

   A:  The biggest mistake I ever made was when I got out in the spelling be for making a mistake on a word.  It's hard to think of a mistake I made and not committed. 

Q:

"The bird is the word..... ? and how does that make you feel?"

   A:  Yes it is in fact the word.  Everyone is talking about it.  It makes me feel papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow...

Thanks for the questions, they were entertaining and I hope the reading is entertaining too.

Song of the Day

"Like A G6"

by

Far East Movement

Thanks for reading,

Fernando

24 Hour Question Marathon

   Whenever a writer of a blog begins to post, he/she always writes an introduction of themselves.  I've come to notice that after a few posts, I've said nothing.  Even though that doesn't mean much because if you're reading this you already know me.  But at the same time I don't think everyone really knows me that well and it would be nice to have a blog that explains that so we can all refer to it.
   All I can really say about myself is that I'm a guy and I mainly play guitar now but I play other instruments.  I'm a music enthusiast.  My friends and my family are what hold me together.  I have a beautiful girlfriend and anyone that says that they have "the most beautiful girl in the world," they're lying because she's with me.  I've been known to be rude, but that just makes me laugh.
   Since I don't really know what to say when it comes to introductions, I thought it'd be easier to just open it up to comments.
   So for 24 hours I'll be posting up a link to this post as much as I can and anyone reading can ask me what they whatever they want.  If you don't want me to know who you are you can of course always comment a question as Anonymous.  I'll answer all the questions that I think are appropriate (I guess) on my next post.  You can ask as many as you want and I haven't been known as the most "appropriate" person so I'm pretty sure I'll answer anything.
   I'm thinking this will be pretty fun.
 
   Also if you have any suggestions on things I can write about, you can contact me on my Facebook because I never check my email.  I don't know why but that's just how it happens with me.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/profile.php?id=1595080126

   I also want to take the chance on this semi-topicless post to mention that my friend Francisco has a YouTube channel called OMGKreationz where the topic is fashion.  Everyone's seen how I dress and how horrible my make-up is so I'm referring everyone over to Frisco.

http://www.youtube.com/user/OMGKreationz

   I also wanted to mention that anyone who actually enjoys this writing, you're awesome.  And I'm writing these blogs for you guys.  If you think anyone else would enjoy this stuff, just link it over to them.

Song of the Day(for Stacey)

"We Are The Champions"

by

Queen

Thank you for reading,

Fernando

Men, We Are A Different Species

   Guys, we are something else.  One thing that I'm so confident that almost all men do, is fall for girls easy.  Gay men, almost all of you do it too for men.  I'll talk about falling for girls because that's what I've experienced first hand.  Again, almost all men, there are always exceptions.
   If we get a girlfriend, we like them.  A lot.  And if we've liked them before going out, then we have already fallen for you girls way ahead of the relationship schedule.  So we've learned to play it cool and not scare you off.
   We don't even have to know the girl.  If you ask any guy if he has a momentary crush on a girl he passes by on the street or at the mall or at Jamba Juice or that one time at Food 4 Less with my grandma, there's a 98% chance that they will say yes. 
   If a pretty girl we don't know is nice to us, we imagine our lives with them.  What is with us?  I think it's just animal instinct and evolution that drives us to think we should reproduce with anyone we want to reproduce with to keep the species alive.
    Also, if you're my friend on Facebook you've seen that when guys are going to pee, and a fly is hovering over the toilet, we automatically try to blast it with piss.
   Men are able to live with anything.  If there's a crap load of ants in our rooms, we won't do anything about it.  If we leave something out and ants get in it, then the peace is broken and we take action.  But otherwise we are harmonious with nature.  Even where we live.
   If men don't shave for a while unintentionally, we will spent a large percentage of the day playing with our facial hair somehow and want a beard, but then it gets itchy.
   It might be pretty obvious, but even the guys you wouldn't think would do it, we've all flexed in front of the mirror.
   Guys have always wanted to be able to drive when we were little to drive really fast like in the movies.  Traffic laws and safety are disappointing to us because we believe we can drive really fast all the time and not get hurt ever.
    Now ladies reading this, go out and compliment something masculine in a guy whether it's true or not; apparent in them or not.  It doesn't matter what people say, guys will believe in in the back of their minds until the day we die.

Song of the Day

"Dance Dance Dance"

by

Lykke Li

Thanks for reading,

Fernando 

There's Plenty of Fish in the Sea: I Keep Reeling in Tires and Trash

   Most of the people on Earth that are suffering from loneliness because of the lack of a significant other in their lives are people around my age.  There are a few exceptions of people that are much older, but I am not older than myself so I have no knowledge as to how to relate to them.  Through romance novels and movies, most people my age are unsatisfied if they are single for the most part.  And again I'm talking about most people that are unsatisfied.  I always encourage comments, but I don't want single people that are so happy to be single posting that I am wrong because this post doesn't pertain to you.  There will be other posts, don't worry.
   Is it true, though, that it's nice to be with someone?  As someone who has been single, in a relationship, casually dating, and/or this weird thing where it's not official and people don't really know but everyone knows and it's pretty much official; I can say that being with someone you care about is very fulfilling.  It's very enjoyable and it gives you a better outlook on many different things and all that nice sentimental stuff.  It's nice, me personally, I enjoy what I can from any relationship but nothing is perfect so it's best not to be disappointed to not have a fairy tale relationships with picnics and magic carpet rides to the moon.
   Why is it so important to have someone?  It makes us feel good to know that whenever we're in school or at work, we don't have to wonder who is interested in us and who's not.  We already know someone that does and appreciate that. 
   But the real issue that arises from this is the impatience.  I know a few people that are a little extreme on finding someone to be with and everyone else is kind of the normal "I want a boyfriend/girlfriend, but I'm not going to tell people I want one to not seem desperate."  It's totally normal to feel as such because we all feel it when we're single.  Crap it happens a lot.  There's only a few people that the whole "I'm single and I'm just having fun" shit works for.  Most of us actually legitimately want to care about someone and be cared for.  Human Nature 101, it's in the earlier chapters between Common Sense and Crazy Shit People Think Of.
   So when someone is in a relationship and it doesn't work out, it always seems so demoralizing and just like a big bump in the road if it was a good relationship.  If any reader here has been broken up with or not, you're either the one to say, "There's plenty of fish in the..." or you're the one receiving it.
   If anyone is ever told that again after reading this post, you tell that person (politely) to shove it.  Hell yeah there's plenty of fish in the sea.  But have you ever been to an aquarium or watched the Discovery Channel?  There's just a lot of fish that are unappealing and dangerous and just plain harmful that no one wants. Out of all the fish in the sea there's only a few fish that are actually appealing.  And everyone has a different preference on kinds of fish.  Hell some people don't even like fish (wink wink).  So truth is, there's plenty of fish in the sea, but there's only that one fish that's worth more than any other fish to you.  If a fish gets off the hook and doesn't work for you; fishing is about patience so just throw the line out there and wait for it.
   It is something really nice.  And nice things are worth a lot so they must be worth waiting for, so patience is the key.  Gandhi and Confucius would back me up here.

Song of the Day

"Wait Up (Boots of Danger)"

by

Tokyo Police Club

Thanks for reading,

Fernando 

In College: The One Person That Speaks Out In Class and Annoys Everyone

   College is different than high school for a number of different reasons.  But one thing that I find to be so obvious about it is the people.  In high school everyone is so self -conscience about their appearance and outward persona that we don't speak out in class and declare our knowledge to the world as an individual for everyone to hear.  We tell jokes, we give the right answers and that's it.  Anyone that sticks out by giving their bold opinion about anything is not normal and according to High School Etiquette 101, these people should be avoided (Undesirables).
   In college it seems that almost everyone has had a class where they have that one person that always talks out to the teacher and annoys the entire class, including the teacher.  We have had class with these people that when the teacher is talking about something they feel the strong urge to say:

"I read somewhere that women are still earning less on the dollar per males in the workplace and this isn't right because of how hard women have fought for equality and I as a woman am disappointed in society for allowing this to happen."

   These statements are usually followed by a long awkward silence because everyone doesn't want to say, "Shut the hell up, we're trying to take notes and don't give a crap about your feminist movement going on in your own head."

   Sometimes these people will just ask questions that are just confusing as hell to the professor:

"So if the orbit of the earth were to change at perihelion, would that make the parsecs in the gravitational quantum want to be as far as to want to do look more like?"

   Every time that these persons open their mouth or raise their hand the whole class groans and the professor has a pained look on his/her face.  How is it that in college we all end up with people like this that it seems like they should grow up and have a mature respect for those around them and stop disturbing class that we need to succeed in life for their big mouths?  I want to know if you the reader have experienced this and how you feel about it.

Song of the Day

"POGO"

by

Digitalism

Thanks for reading,

Fernando

Being On My Own Pt. I

    Living on my own for the last few months hasn't been all fun and games, but more of a huge learning experience from living in a large major city of the world. It's given me a lot of questions and a little bit of common sense of my area.  Hopefully some people reading this have more wisdom than I do about living as such and those who do not can be prepared for when it does happen because it will happen.

    I immediately learned first that the world doesn't really give a crap about you.  This seems kind of obvious but it's very much in your face when you move away from a population of 14,000 to 773,000 people.  My whole life I've been used to being with people that know and being near home where there's someone there that likes me and knows that I exist (thanks Mom for still liking me even after being a stupid teenager in school and being dumb because I wasn't allowed to do this or that, I should've been more patient).  People will literally bump into me and stand an inch away from me on the BART and not even know I'm there, super rude, and then when I build up the nerve to tell them that they've not only invaded my personal space, but have also entered my sexy space, I'm the rude one.  When you're on your own in a big city with a thousand people passing by every hour, you're invisible and nothing.  But it's easy to find comfort in the fact that I do have friends and family that know that I'm alive, so I appreciate that more now.

     I've also realized that there's a lot of crazy people in the world.  I'm not just talking about homeless people that call you "Mike" and threaten to kill you while they're pulling recyclables out of the trash.  I'm talking about fully functional individuals in society that look completely normal and have bank accounts and everything.  One lady came into the restaurant that I work in and smiled and said, "Hi" and was pleasant.  She ordered some food that we can all agree could be healthier and out of no where she puts her chin to her left clavicle and said, "NO! You are not getting the dark meat, get the white!"  Apparently this lady has two personalities and one of them is obviously more persuasive than the other so one of them bought a healthy meal and I sold the other one a cookie.  It all worked out.  But for someone like me who grew up in a small town, crazy people that seem normal is not normal and it was shocking and scary to say the least.  My question is, how are these people getting around like this alone?  At least one of my personalities would want some help or something, I could get into some trouble.

    Also I've seen people with tattoos all over their face and neck and arms and stuff and I think to myself, where are you getting a job?  How the hell do you even have a stable life if you're 35 and have tattoo eye brows and a tattoo goatee?  What the shit is going on in your head when you decide, "Hey, I want tattoos on my face and get paid an hourly wage instead of a presentable face and earn a yearly salary."

    Top Ramen sucks now.  I remember sitting at my table with my mom and saying, "Left-overs again?"  And now everyday I think, "Fuck!  Top Ramen again."  Or even, "Rice and rotisserie chicken again!  Damn!"  It seemed pretty simple before that I could eat out since no one is here to tell me what to do.  But if I do that, I go broke and if I eat the same cheap stuff everyday, I go crazy.  So now I hear voices in my head.

     

Song of the Day

"School Uniforms"

by

The Wombats

Thanks for reading,

Fernando

Girls & Make Up

I'm not an expert on "make up" art. To those who work at the Make Up Departments at department stores like Macy's and what not, not all, but some of you shouldn't work there like an obese person working as a Nutritionist.  As a common occurrence that we all see, you wear too much make up like all other ladies.  Men (straight or gay) that work there, if you're wearing too much make up, I don't know how to address you other than the fact that you're still a man and there are things that are made and used just for women, so please show some restraint on how much you use.  But I don't have to be an expert on make up art to know what's not attractive and what is because believe it or not, ladies, you're not all wearing make up for fashion experts.  The general public sees this and I happen to be part of the general public.
Both men and women clearly see this when some ladies pass by and they're what I call a Cake; it looks like they have make up on so thick that it's like they have a layer of icing on them like a cake and you can take your finger and get a chunk of it off.  Except here you probably don't want to lick it off your finger.
First of all, ladies who paint their eye brows on: what are you doing?  Who are you trying to fool?  I know some people won't like to read this, but the fact remains that, they're just eye brows.  Your fellow women don't find that attractive because they're probably into men.  And any women that are into women, I want to know if you think that a lady with no eye brows and then paints them on is hot.  Men don't care about eye brows and if anything, not having any eye brows can't be all too attractive and painting on thick red ones isn't kindling the fire (if you know what I mean).  Eye brows aren't important, so ladies, shape them the way you want or just let them be, it doesn't matter because at least you have eye brows.
Second, ladies with the crafty eye liner hands and mascara, when you accentuate big beautiful eyes and nice full eye lashes to bat at all the gentlemen, it looks great.   The ladies that have fake eye lashes: what can I even say?  It's obvious that they're fake like a guy wearing a cheap toupee.  Sometimes for parties and nightlife you ladies like to paint on an Egyptian accent to the ends of your eye lids and that's cool because it looks nice and hey, it's a party; look good, get crazy, it's all good.  But the girls that wear a crap load of eye liner 24/7 and/or have a Cleopatra complex, an half an inch is pretty small on a ruler, but on your face, it's like a mile.  We're all mammals and women are no exception.  If you're a lady and are wearing eye liner that look like black goggles, that's not a pretty human female--it's a Raccoon. 
Third, this is for all the Cakes out there.  It's easy to understand why having nice skin seems to be key to looking pretty.  It's genetically bred into women to have soft textured skin and when it seems less than perfect there's a lot of media that tells you to compensate for it.  Wearing as much make up as the amount of snow New York gets in the winter hides your skin really well, but what can you wear to hide all the make up?
Ladies that wear lip liner and no lipstick and/or wearing lipstick that just doesn't go well, there is just no hope for you and you wasted your time if you read this.
If at any point anyone reading this thought, "Fernando, who are you to tell any girl what they should look like?  They can make themselves look like however they want because it's their face and you don't have to look at it," if ladies want to look like clowns for themselves, they can walk around with a mirror in front of them so as to spare the public's eyes.  If ladies look like this to please the man that they're with, they're not attracting very classy guys.
Make up is supposed to enhance a woman's natural features, not create a new face.  There's a lot of pressure on women to look better like the pretty girls on TV and movies.  But those women only look that way because of professionals doing their make up and plastic surgery.  These ladies are only trying to look so good because that's their job for the media and the public and have nothing else but to look good.
Ladies if you have a friend suffering from these issues, please let them know that they are not doing in the best interest of their appearance.  If you really care about them, let them know.
They say a beautiful girl is one in a million.  But that isn't true.  An unattractive girl only comes about every one in a million so the chances that any lady reading this is unattractive means that they can also win the lottery.  Every girl is beautiful and doesn't need make up hiding it.

Song of the Day

"You Dropped the Bomb On Me"

by

The Gap Band

Thanks for reading,

Fernando

Facebook Friends With The Worst Statuses

I noticed from my own Facebook, that we all have at least one friend that has the worst statuses.  The statuses that we just don't give a single microscopic crap about.

Whenever that person is online it's a guarantee that they are going to post up something that you don't want to see.  

Other people post up things like:

"Had lots of fun last night! :)"

or

 "Remember the good ol' days when...[insert nostalgia here]"

This isn't necessarily stuff that everyone cares about if you can't relate to the good ol' days or weren't at that really cool party last night because you were home watching a Star Wars marathon and eating McDonald's chicken nuggets because they're on sale for $9.99 for 2 medium drinks and 2 medium fries.

But there's that one friend that always posts something specific about themselves and it's always about their emotions:

"I am sooooo mad!! >:( My lip gloss fell under the couch!!! UUUUUUUUUggggghhh! I don't want to reach under it and get it lol ^__^"

First of all, I know what you're thinking ladies, "Why is it a girl?"

That's easy to address: it's always a girl that posts up stupid crap like this and it's nothing sexist, just statistics.

But yet, why are these people our friends? 

BTW: aNy1 tHatT TypEzz Lyk diS: I hate you.

 If anyone else can relate, discuss in the comments.

Song of the Day

 "Let's Get Out of Here" 

by

Cut Off Your Hands

Thanks for reading, 

Fernando